Sunday, July 06, 2008

stinkin' ticket

I finally met a cop that wasn't a softie to a guy on a motorbike. I was giddy-upping down the road on my way to Uncle Ron's to meet up with an old friend as I exited Hwy 34 onto Cornhusker Hwy. Every time I take that off-ramp on my bike I try to take it a bit faster, lean the bike over a bit more. Seems that I took this ramp the fastest yet. I straighten out from the turn, turn on my turn-signal to move over a couple of lanes to get pass some traffic, and then coast my way to the light. Just as the light is about to turn green a cop comes up behind me with his lights siren, just lights. Thinking that he is wanting past me on his way to a call, I quick pull ahead of the car next to me and get over. So does the cop. CRAP. He is looking for ME. So I pull over in the next parking lot, which just happens to be about 30 yards down the road from Uncle Ron's.

Cop: So, do you know what the speed limit is around here?
Me: fifty something?
Cop: Nope, 40MPH.
Me: Really? How fast was I going? (I thoughtI was doing 50).
Cop: You were doing 58 MPH. (for those math challenged, that is 18 over the speed limit. Correct me if I am wrong, but that is something like 10 points on a license)
Me: Really? I didn't think I could take that off-ramp so fast? Huh? Oops. Sorry about that.

Up shot is, he let me off kinda easy on that ticket. The total price is only $169, and he gave me a brochure about "Stop Class." I think I am going to take the class. It is only $80 (half the price of the ticket, but eight hours of my life completely wasted), and when I am done, the ticket (and points) are gone from my record. Yay me. I always find a way to make my life more expensive :D

Monday, June 23, 2008

not for the faint of heart or the queasy of stomachs

The footage you are about to see is for mature audiences. If you have a sensitive stomach or are easily disturbed you should change the channel.

Okay, I warned you.

Some back story is required...but to lead off...I HATE Mondays. And they hate me. If we all jump into the "Way-Back" machine, we can find out why this story even takes place. Just about 17 years ago exactly I went out on a motorcycle ride with my dad and ended up spending six months on crutches due to me not being able to ride on the back. What ended up happening was that my left foot got sucked into the brand new rear tire and got stuck between the tire and the frame of the bike. Two skin grafts later, and one MAJOR miracle I was walking and running like normal. Fast forward 17 years and today starts. I show up at work and find out that the plane that I thought I had fixed on Friday, still leaked. As I was getting ready to start draining the fuel out so that I could open up its gas tank for the third time, I started to pull my tool box to the plane. Note my choice of words, "Pull." I found out the hard way why you are supposed to "Push" not "Pull" tool boxes. As I was pulling my box I didn't quite walk fast enough. There goes my heel under the box...and BRING ON THE PAIN TRAIN. The tool box ended up shaving off the scar from my heel. That, in and of itself is painful. I have experienced that before because my soccer cleats have worn off my scar. What pushes this experience over the top is that my tool box destroyed my heel as a blunt instrument. My heel is about three different shades of purple, and I might have broken a bone spur off. As I walk it feels like there something rolling around under my Achilles tendon. If my heel feels this bad by the end of work tomorrow I will be going to the doctor and having an X-ray to see the total damage. And here is the moment that you have all been waiting for. Picture proof of the damage. Enjoy the show. :)

Saturday, June 14, 2008

bad boy?...or multi-tasking?

So I drove up to Norfolk for the weekend for a couple of reasons. One, the weather was beautiful and it just begged for a road trip. Two, I needed to do some work on my bike that required it to be off the ground and my dad has a motorcycle jack. Three, it IS Father's Day this Sunday. And Fourthly but not lastly, my good friend Trisha Kment is changing her last name to "Cole." Which brings me to the title of my post. They (Trisha and Joshua Cole) asked me to be the sound-man during the reception. Duties entailed are making sure that there is music during the eating time, that the MC has a mic, and that the slide show is turned on at the correct time.

So here I am, sitting in the sound booth bored out of my gourd. Trying to get 300 odd people through a buffet line takes a bloody long time. Ergo, nothing to do. Till just now, when I finally (15 seconds ago) had to get the slide show going. If you don't get the title of the post, comment and I will explain it all out ;)

P.S. I got half of the work done on the bike. Realized that I REALLY didn't want to do one of the jobs myself, so I am going to take it in to the shop for that one.

Monday, May 19, 2008


Note to self, "Beware the Kamikazes at Cliff's Bar." They be potent. Also, most of the ones that I sampled were not that good tasting; but if you want to get drunk in a hurry, they are your best bet.

And to all you who are curious...I did NOT get drunk...or even tipsy. ;P

Friday, May 02, 2008


I found out that when my name is pulled in the police database, it comes up with 30+ red flags for outstanding warrants and other miscellaneous charges. How did I find this out? I got pulled over on my bike on Wednesday.

I was minding my own business going the wrong way on a one way street and a cop had the gall to pull me over :P Actually I was a retard because I forgot that the street I was cruising down went from two directions to a one way. I was loving life because I was catching all the green lights, my bike had a new rear fairing so it looks almost as good as new, and the temperature was north of 60 degrees. Suddenly, after going through a green light, I realize that all traffic is pointing my way. I go "Self, I am stupid. This is not the street I thought it was. No problem, I will just turn into this parking lot and get myself going the proper direction on this boulevard." Immediately on finishing this little internal dialoge, the car that was coming my way, that prompted said discussion, turned on his lights. Yes, he was a cop.

As I am laughing to myself at my absolute stupidity, and shaking my head, I turn into the parking lot, get off the bike, remove my helmet, get my proof of insurance and my registration from under my seat, and am waiting for the officer before he has even pulled into the parking lot. As he approaches me he says, "I think we both know WHY I pulled you over." Yep. Because I am a dum-bass. As he takes my info he tells me that I am only going to get a warning (great guy that cop) but he needs to run me anyway. No problem. That last liquor store job finally left my record (j/k). Ten minutes later, he finally gets out of his car...was something the matter? Or did he only have 14.4Kb connection in there?

Him: Have you had any problems going through airports lately?
Me: Noooo, not really
Him: When was the last time you flew?
Me: A couple of weeks ago. Flew to Phoenix to pick up a car. Why?
Him: Well, when I ran your name, 30 red flags popped up. I had to weed through them to make sure I had the right person...You don't happen to go by "Tony" do you?
Me: Nope.
Him: I didn't think so. Have a good day.

So ends my latest encounter with our lovely men in blue. That was actually the first time I had gotten pulled over on my bike. Of course, I am a little paranoid about the next time I fly. If TSA decides to scan my boarding pass as I go through security, am I going to get detained, rejected from my flight, cavity searched, etc. because of my name matching so many other "criminals?" Hope not. If I do, at least I will get a good story out of the deal.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008


I am about to tell a funny on myself. Have you ever not had enough sleep for a while and then had to get up a bit earlier than usual? Usually, things don't go quite right and you just have to shake your head and laugh. That is me right now. Not NEAR enough sleep has been had for the last several weeks and then I had to get up at 5 this morning to get a plane out the door by 8 AM. I get up, get dressed, have breakfast and head out the door. Get to work, change into my uniform, and start the work day. It is now 9:30 AM. So I have been up and "dressed" for over 4 hours. I just realized that my boxers are on backwards. Feel free to giggle or guffaw.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


If anybody in my area (Lincoln NE) wants a good, fun, rockin' time this on. If you want to be a square, a poser, and boring homebody with no friends...leave this page right now. :) Alright, all bombast aside, I am here to present a fun event for one and all. A man whom I feel I can call a friend (versus an acquaintance) is going to be in town on Friday the 8th to grace us with a concert. Some of you might have heard of his band. Caedmon's Call. Andrew Osenga happens to be one great electric guitar player and an amazing lyricist in his own right, but he also plays as the electric guitarist for Caedmon's Call. They are going to be playing at Berean Church on the 8th at 7:30 PM. General admission tickets only, and they go for about $15. If you can't float that or have other plans already for that time block, here is the main reason for this post.

Andy Osenga is also going to be putting on a concert, of his own material, at Grace Chapel, in the Geneva House. The church is on the corner of 40th and Sheridan. If you show up at 10:00 PM you will for sure make it on time. 10:30 PM means that you are probably going to walk in while he is playing. Granted, all these times are based on conjecture about when CC's concert finishes. As soon as the concert is over, several folks will be heading over to GC to set up for Andy. Depending on when they get there, how quickly they get set up, and when Andy himself can make it over, determines when doors open. As you can see, very laid back, very informal, and the cost is going to be $5 suggested donation. If you are on the fence about going and would like to hear some music from either of these artists mentioned (especially Andy O) check out and If you do make it over, I would love to say hi. Especially if I don't know you. I will probably be the one with a slightly harried look due to me getting the sound up and running :)