Friday, May 02, 2008


I found out that when my name is pulled in the police database, it comes up with 30+ red flags for outstanding warrants and other miscellaneous charges. How did I find this out? I got pulled over on my bike on Wednesday.

I was minding my own business going the wrong way on a one way street and a cop had the gall to pull me over :P Actually I was a retard because I forgot that the street I was cruising down went from two directions to a one way. I was loving life because I was catching all the green lights, my bike had a new rear fairing so it looks almost as good as new, and the temperature was north of 60 degrees. Suddenly, after going through a green light, I realize that all traffic is pointing my way. I go "Self, I am stupid. This is not the street I thought it was. No problem, I will just turn into this parking lot and get myself going the proper direction on this boulevard." Immediately on finishing this little internal dialoge, the car that was coming my way, that prompted said discussion, turned on his lights. Yes, he was a cop.

As I am laughing to myself at my absolute stupidity, and shaking my head, I turn into the parking lot, get off the bike, remove my helmet, get my proof of insurance and my registration from under my seat, and am waiting for the officer before he has even pulled into the parking lot. As he approaches me he says, "I think we both know WHY I pulled you over." Yep. Because I am a dum-bass. As he takes my info he tells me that I am only going to get a warning (great guy that cop) but he needs to run me anyway. No problem. That last liquor store job finally left my record (j/k). Ten minutes later, he finally gets out of his car...was something the matter? Or did he only have 14.4Kb connection in there?

Him: Have you had any problems going through airports lately?
Me: Noooo, not really
Him: When was the last time you flew?
Me: A couple of weeks ago. Flew to Phoenix to pick up a car. Why?
Him: Well, when I ran your name, 30 red flags popped up. I had to weed through them to make sure I had the right person...You don't happen to go by "Tony" do you?
Me: Nope.
Him: I didn't think so. Have a good day.

So ends my latest encounter with our lovely men in blue. That was actually the first time I had gotten pulled over on my bike. Of course, I am a little paranoid about the next time I fly. If TSA decides to scan my boarding pass as I go through security, am I going to get detained, rejected from my flight, cavity searched, etc. because of my name matching so many other "criminals?" Hope not. If I do, at least I will get a good story out of the deal.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Ben -- I meant to tell you when you were here playing poker tonight that I saw pics of your new niece and she is beautiful! :)

meg (robison)